Monday, October 06, 2014

Monday Manifesto

You know that Zen saying that if you don't have time to meditate for 20 mins a day, then you should meditate for an hour? That's me. Recently I was on the verge of burning out again (yep, 2nd time in a matter of years) and it wasn't pretty. It also took someone else to point it out to me. Then the questions started:
How did I get here?
+ Why did I get here (when I was so certain I wouldn't land here ever again, when I talk about slowing down in all my yoga classes, when I preach preach preach...... )? 
+ Um, again?

Well, the answer is simple: I didn't practice.
Yep, I didn't practice what I was preaching.

Oh sure, I took time off work when I felt 'adrenally'. Certainly I worked a lot less than I did before. And I (scarily but awesomely) told my office work I only wanted to work 4 days maximum - that balance was super important to me. 

But when push came to shove, when it got busy and people needed me, when people asked me, I said yes (when honestly, I should have said no).

Hmmmm.. yes, this is true, but honestly, want to know the main reason? Mostly, because I'm a people-pleaser, and I base a lot of my self-worth on the opinion of others.

OUCH. Now that hurts to say it out loud, but it's true. And I know it's true for a lot of you as well, so what the hell is the answer?

Well, I still think the answer is simple. I believe that at each and every point in our life, we have to test our boundaries, try our limits, and keep moving the boundaries here and there, adjusting as we travel along our path. I don't think there's a cut and dried answer, or a one-size-fits-all solution. I guess we just keep trying. Actually, I know we just keep trying.

Here's proof: I sure as heck know I'm no where near as brittle and broken as I was 3 years ago when I completely burnt out (to the point that I had no periods, had lost about 15kg and my hair was starting to fall out, yikes!)

I know now that when things are tough, I have a no-bullshit team (therapy, acupuncture, kinesiology, friends and family) around me that pulls me up and pulls me through when I need it. 

I have a tool-kit full of remedies for hard luck now. 

And you know what? I think with age comes not only grey hair, but lots of trial and error, and how cool is that? I actually have 2 tool-kits full of remedies for LIFE now, and what a blessed thing that is.

In Mastin Kipp's book THE DAILY LOVE, he shares:
"Success is what happens to you when and if you survive all your mistakes"

and I couldn't agree more. It's about showing up, again and again. I am starting to take back my power, to not let other people's opinions rate my self-worth. You wanna know how awesomely wonderful (but quietly terrifying) that is?! It's brilliant, on both sides of the coin. It's not about being perfect. It's about being YOU.

As you know I just returned from 3 weeks of amazing teacher training (come for a 1-on-1 session if you're keen to dive into YogaCoaching!) and the standout moments were those ones when people showed their vulnerability. When they cracked a little, opened up, stood up and faced fear - and survived. Now man, that is some powerful stuff to be a part of.

Sweetheart, your worth isn't in being everything to everyone. It's not even close to coming from that place. Really, it's so much more simple - your brilliance is already in you. You just have to get out of your own way. Ready?

Let's jump xo

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