Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday Manifesto

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In the interests of transparency, let me share with you what has been going on in my world recently. 

It's nothing huge, but it's my life, so for me, it's more than huge - it's everything. Know what I mean? My heart has been thrown around a bit, up and down; my head has been full of work and study and obsession; my feelings of stability and grounding have gone haywire (new work coming in = great, but my stable job not being so stable = boo), and it's making me a little cranky and sad and stressed, to be quite honest.

That slippery deep hole of depression has been hanging around lately, I've found myself unable to catch my breath on more than one occasion. I have been reading a lot lately about self-compassion, and have been teaching from that place of struggle being ok - being normal, being something we all go through. But man, it gets tiring. 

Sometimes, I just want a break, for life to be smooth, for me to meet a beautiful person who values me and excites me, and I want to not stress about money and work and to have things work out for once.

But then I take a breath, and know that struggle is what connects me to the beauties around me. It makes me feel compassion for myself, and for my friends, and students, and workmates, and the guy walking down the street. Because we all feel tired sometimes. And then we have a flash of 'ok-ness', and that is the slippery dip and merry-go-round of life, isn't it? That we appreciate the beautiful moments BECAUSE we know what the rubbish ones feel like.

Oh Brene Brown, what a beautiful woman you are.

With love, dear friends, xo

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