Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Operation Self-Love

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Depression sucks - quite literally. It sucks the life out of you, the joy, the care, the energy. When it lands on me it feels like I can't breathe and I have a big whole in my chest. God, no wonder I literally sleep away the days when the black dog sets up camp.

The whole depression and anxiety thing is why I've always felt 'less than' other health coaches and yoga teachers and wellness peeps. Those people, with their websites full of piccies of them by the beach smiling, green smoothie in hand, blonde hair swaying in the breeze after their 5am personal training session. Hahah! Well not quite but ok, you get the idea - there's a lot of comparing my insides to the outsides of other people on social media, this shiny front everyone puts up.

But this is exactly why I know I'm a good yogi and wellness person - because my life looks nothing like that, because I'm messy and real and most of all, I keep getting back up again and again and yet again. I call on braveness that is deep down, and sometimes that braveness is only a flicker - but how inspiring is that? That there is a flicker, after what feels like a lifetime of effort. Well, it feels like that today. The adrenals are crying, the anxiety is heavy, and my tummy ain't happy. 

But you know what? Tomorrow I'll start again, and I'll reach out to my friends who know and love me for the exact person I am.  To find a crew around you in life that honestly gets you, how lucky and awesome is that?

So today I will rest my heart, mind and body, and treat myself to all the self-love I can, even (and especially when) it looks really human and tear-stained and tired. Because that is what a health coach should be right?

Meeting people where they're at.

Loving people where they're at.

And believing in a brighter tomorrow, with hope.

Big love to you all. x


1 comment:

Rachel said...

Oh Stella this is exactly how I feel about having ME! I so understand xoxo

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