Friday, December 10, 2010

A time..

There is a time
for some things;
And a time
for all things;
A time
for great things;
And a time
for small things.
This week, small things are really all I can manage. I'm going on week 2 with a stomach bug thing that is keeping me housebound, and housebound = too much time to think! And as we're nearing the end of the year, of course one takes a look back over the past year and ponders.
Was it good? Was it bad? Was it indifferent? I asked my yogi students in class this week to come up with a word that summed up this last year - and once they found the word, to let it go. Let it go and move forward, come up with a word for next year.
Sometimes I really do need to take my own advice!!
My word for this year, in hindsight, is growth. Change and growth. Leaving behind things that are comfortable (mighty unhealthy, but comfortable!) - and diving deep into the unknown. I thought I was pretty lucky 5 months ago when I forged a new path and things seemed to be floating along so well. I was lucky. It was just the break I needed - to regroup, to refocus. But I've realised I've not taken any time to just BE.. to nurture myself after a pretty hellish period.
I'm really feeling the effects of this now - physically my body just can't get over this illness without antibiotics. Normally my immunity is bang on! Mentally, I'm struggling with depression and hope-lessness. Normally, I am a person pretty full of joy - yes, I have my moments, but love and joy are two words I would use to describe who I am.
So the next step? I think.. I think.. the next step is to take some time.. for the small things. For sitting outside in the park. For meditating in the morning. For eating fruit & strawberries - and savour them. For sangha. For friends. For me.
Now the question - how the heck do I do that? It is such an easy problem to solve when I'm shiny and happy, but when I'm struggling it's tough. So tonight, I'll just be. Couch, me, blogging, a sad movie perhaps, and ice cream. And tonight, I'm OK with that.
Send me yr prayers, friends xx

3 comments:

Y is for Yogini said...

Feel better, my dear. Sounds like you know exactly what to do. :)

Brigid said...

It's so hard to be optimistic and upbeat when your body is being attacked by bugs.
Illness always brings on a bit of depression for me too, especially when it's more than a few days. I remember my yoga teacher saying how important it is to learn meditation and yoga before you get sick because when you're not well you don't have the energy or clarity. Maybe a bit of meditation and just listening to your body and what it needs you to do. It's all temporary, thank goodness!
I'm sending you healthy vibes
:-)

Michelle said...

Hang in there hon, nothing is permanent and days like these will pass. Here's sending you lots of prayers and positive energy from across the world!

Hope you feel better soon! x

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