Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Have you forgotten how amazing you are?

I admit it - I hold back quite often.
It's a strange phenomenon - as a yoga teacher I talk talk talk when I'm teaching, I share nuggets of wisdom, I share things my teachers have taught me, I vocalise things I read in the rows and rows of books that line my shelves (and pile up near the book shelf onto the floor!), I encourage, inspire, gently guide, strongly assure, I suggest to the yogis on the mats to live lives beyond their wildest dreams. I do all of this because I have no doubts AT ALL that they can do all they dream of. My gosh - if you've seen some of my students, you would be blown away at their talent, generosity, love and spark.
But when it comes to me, I hold back. I often don't trust that I, myself, am worth it. I don't trust that I am great. I had to teach a 'mock' class today, as an audition to teach at a studio. And I was terrified! I saw a dear friend as I was on my way to the studio, and she stopped me as I was telling her of my fears about not being good enough, she grabbed both of my shoulders, looked me right in the eyes and exclaimed in disbelief, "Have you forgotten how amazing you are?"
And I was so shocked by her bluntness & immediate insight that I couldn't do anything but be honest. "Yes!" I cried out. "Yes, I have!"
And secretly, dear yogis, I really have.
I've tried many new things this year in the realm of my career, which has involved interviews and being judged 'right' or 'not so right' for certain roles and opportunities. I've been knocked back in some situations I presumed I would be a shoe-in for, and my ego has taken a wee battering. Ok, I'll be honest, my ego, my heart, the light inside has been stomped on, laughed at, chewed up and broken.
But all it takes is that gentle reminder from a loving friend to pull you back to the present moment. "Have you forgotten how amazing you are?"
I'm not sure if you're like me, but my default position is to often ignore all the positive comments and acknowledgements I receive, and instead shine a spotlight onto the critiques, the criticisms, my apparent imperfections. I am always looking to improve myself, to be accepted, to shine brightly and to be liked by you... So much so that I had another dear friend recently email me to remind me, "the simplest answer to all of this is to say "maybe... I am amazing just the way I am"'.
I love that my 2 reminders of my own power have used such similar words - from two totally different sources. I love that these 2 powerful sentiments are so simple. Simple but true.
So as we verge on 2011, I encourage you all to ask yourselves, "have you forgotten how amazing you are?" And so you have a reminder of just how much you rock, take a moment - right now - and write down 10 things you have done this year that show testament to your spark. Did you try a new class? Help a friend in need? Go to work when you didn't feel like it? Were you there for others? Did you encourage them? Did you have a difficult conversation? Did you stand up for what you believe in?
Go on, share your amazing stories here. Don't hold back! Because let me tell you - YOU are AMAZING. xo


lilasvb said...

i love your post because i am like you, having doubts especially now!!!!

xxMoonlightMaidenxx said...

Thank you so much for posting this! Everyone needs to be reminded about how great they are.
I too focus on my faults and have had my ego bruised lately.
But when I took a step back just now; I realize just how far I've come in the last couple months, and that these set backs are minor compared to all my accomplishments. And that yes, reaching out of my comfort zone has been hard but it's also made me a better person.

Psm said...

Doubts and fear are as much a part of life as any other emotion. But, you can use the negative to fuel the positive! The way I see it the negative emotions are trying to tell you something: be aware of weakness and lack of preparation for challenges and work towards being strong and prepared. Not saying that all doubt and fear can be erased, we are so wonderfully human after all, but don't ignore them because they can also help you achieve what you thought was unachievable. Not much feels better than facing fear and doubt and coming out the other side with joy and new confidence.

Anonymous said...

Omigosh hon, you ARE amazing!! You are one of the best teachers I've had, and I really miss your awesome classes, and all your wonderful energy. Any setbacks just means that the universe thinks that you're not suited for that situation at that point in time. You are so talented and inspiring and I can't wait to head back to Oz to catch your classes again!


Rachel@Suburban Yogini said...

I am wracked with doubt right now and really needed to read this. Thank you!

babs said...

What a beautiful, honest, and encouraging post! You are amazing!

green ink said...

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Thank you for sharing, you AMAZING lovely lady! xx

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